Faith

"Faith isn't faith until it's all your holding onto." - Unknown

Today I officially reached my fundraising goal! Actually I exceeded it believe it or not. There is such relief in being able to say that and now being able to focus solely on training. I am truly humbled by how people have responded, and all of you are in essence taking this journey with me. $3600 is a big number and it seemed bigger than I ever thought I could achieve but once again God proved to me that if I'd just let go, He'd take care of it. And, He did.

I believe doing this marathon is part of His plan - not sure where all it will take me - but I believe I'm doing the right thing for my life at this moment. I often wonder if this started w/ me running away from something or towards something. I think it's a little of both and the list is long on both sides.

"Settle with the past. Engage in the present. Believe in the future. Life is just a voyage that is always homeward bound." - from the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

26.2 is a big number but not bigger than both of us.

Kick'n it Newport Style

There's just something about running on the streets of Newport in the dark that will cause you to kick up your pace a bit. We didn't do the route to Eden Park/Observatory today. Woo hoo! We took a route through downtown, over the Clay Bailey Bridge, and over to Newport and back. I don't panic on bridges typically, but something about running over one next to a moving train just creates a little uneasiness in a gal.

10 miles in 2:03, which included 3 water stops and 1 unsuccessful bathroom stop at the Shell station on 4th street in Newport (I do not really believe the bathroom was "closed" either!), followed by 1 successful bathroom stop courtesy of the Goodyear Tire Store in Newport. At about mile 5 my newest add to my playlist came on: Return of the Mack. If that song doesn't make you wanna move your hips...brother, you need a pulse check. It will put some groove in your step.

I'm one of those people that say "good morning" to every person I run past. What is up w/ some people around here? Runners have unspoken code that it's just something you do - it's like a brotherhood, like bikers. But the general public out walking to work or trying to find their car from the night before, generally don't expect people to say anything to them. I am here to prove this wrong. Morning!

Color

Today is a perfect fall day. It's just beautiful outside. Tomorrow is suppose to be pretty much the same - slightly chillier but that's OK. We are scheduled for a 10 mile run tomorrow from the boathouse (insert rolling eyes here). Ugh. However, I am mentally going to remove myself from that negative place. Our long runs now take us up 2 miles every other weekend. Next weekend it's 14 (i.e. last weekend: 12, this weekend: 10, next weekend: 14). I'm probably the only one that needed that spelled out for them. No, I'm pretty sure of it. I'm so not a number person. Someone asked me today how far our run is tomorrow and I responded "only 10 miles" in complete innocence (i.e. lacking my usual sarcasim). He just looked at me and said "a few weeks ago would you had ever thought you'd be saying "only 10"?" Nope. I'm not sure when "only" so easily creeped into my vocabulary and started preceeding the words "10 miles".

I'm a little bummed today because my running buddy, Kristin, called to tell me that she's pulling out of the Disney Marathon and is going to defer to the Flying Pig in May. She acquired a foot injury last weekend, and with school and fundraising life's a little crazy. No doubt girlfriend! But I'm blue. You'll be missed.

Cathy and I are signed up to work the Bengals vs Steelers game on Sunday. As if there wasn't enough abuse going on in my life right now, I've voluntarily elected to take on more. We worked the concession booth for the first time last Sunday and we unanimously agree that the footlong portable is better - footlong and soda, $6 and $4, simple. All I have to say to the concession guests are: We are v-o-l-u-n-t-e-e-r-s! I don't know where they sell Skyline at the stadium, where the nearest ATM is, or how long the proshop is going to be open. AND, I really don't care how pissed you are at the Bengals and that you think the pizza is overpriced, that the pretzels should come w/ cheese, or you are mad that you stood there in line w/ the menu right in front you and just now realized that we don't sell nachos at this stand. I am not the person to take that frustration out on. I might be sore from head to toe on most Sundays but this chick will jump over this counter and out run you in a heartbeat (especially if you are on your 16th beer and/or wearing 5 inch heels). It's such a colorful crowd.

Hold on Tight

"Persistence Persistence Persistence. With the wind kissing my face and the ground supplying the grace, there is very little to impede the need. The need to succeed. Standing alone I discovered the reason for heart. For there stood the enemy. Wishing to stop me before I start. They will hold your ankles. Pull you down by the wrists. They will kick, bite, and push. They will-will resist. With little life left to see. Steady came my plea. For as long as I am me. I will-will persist."

I can't find who wrote that, but I like it. I successfully completed 12 miles on Saturday and am proud to say that I finished 12 miles in less time than it took me to do 10 the week before. 2:20. I like those numbers. Do I have the potential of keeping that pace at 26.2? Who knows, but I will finish and it won't be on a bus. Note, if you don't meet certain pace times at certain points during the Disney marathon they have a bus waiting to "escort" you to the finish line. I don't want to ride the bus! And, I bet it is one of those short buses too. Anyhow, I ran the 12 miles alone on Saturday. It was just me and my iPod. BTW - we are not suppose to use iPods and it was the first time I did a long run with one and for me, music is my refuge. My playlist started with Barry Manilow's "Daybreak" when the sun was coming up as I turned onto Montgomery Rd. from Weller and ended with Josh Turner's "Me and God" while I ran my 1/2 mile into Weller Park. As I was running, I gave some serious thought to how I was out there alone that day and how I've adjusted my life to this aspect pretty steadily over the years. I didn't say "comfortably" though. I think it's just a survival mode I've gotten into. I heard ELO's song "Hold on Tight (to your dreams)" last week and added it to my playlist. It came on about 1/2 way into my run on Saturday - it's one of my new favorites. Barry Manilow, Josh Turner, and ELO - is there any logic to it? I don't think so.

Hold on tight to your dream

Hold on tight to your dream

When you see your ship go sailing

When you feel your heart is breaking

Hold on tight to your dream.

XII

Twelve. 12. 10+2. Yep, that's the plan for 7am tomorrow morning. I felt better after Monday and as the week progressed. Here's what it looked like:

Saturday - 10 miles
Sunday - weights and cardio (w/ an over-zealous trainer - $#!@)
Monday - off (should have ran 30 min. but I hadn't re-couped from the previous 2 days)
Tuesday - weights and cardio
Wednesday - 4 mile group run from Newport on the Levee
Thursday - 2.2 mile run
Friday - off (scheduled)

Sunday is another Bengals game. I'm only $467 away from my fundraising goal! And, I'm over saying "who dey?". It's more like "who can't?". Are we ready for baseball? Let's face it - our choices are not good.

Down the road I go...

Partial reality is, it's taken me this long since Saturday's 10 mile run to shuffle across the floor to my laptop to post something new on my blog. OK, I said partial reality - but reality is, I'm still shuffling. If I never see Eden Park Drive again in this lifetime, I will not die feeling cheated one bit. The "no fear" motto left my soul at about 9 miles. I simply looked up and said, "God, if I'm going to finish this today, I need you to give me something, anything". He did. I finished, tears and all, but I finished. I was basically disappointed in my time and how I felt at only 10 miles. 10 is still not half of 26. But, it's actually the longest distance I've done, so there is an achievement! I am my own worst enemy. My mind got the best of me on Saturday while my legs and feet were feeling the results of hills, pounding, and chilly weather. 143 minutes. 41 degrees. Not great numbers but I have to remind myself that (1) no hills at Disney, (2) I still have 89 days to get stronger - mentally and physically, and (3) I'm not alone.

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns

No Fear

This journey has truly taken me to places I never thought possible for me, last night was no exception. First, the weather was a little chillier yesterday - YEAH! So, I wore running tights when I ran. Repeat...I wore tights out in public. I haven't done that since like 1983 or something. Our group did its mid-week run from Blue Ash last night and we ran out to a neighborhood off Kenwood Rd. called "Kenview Hills". Yep, there it is - my favorite 4 letter word. Anyhow, we did hill repeats with a twist. We ran them w/ our hands behind our backs and then we ran them backwards. The idea was to teach us the value of using our arms when we run and to strengthen different muscles in our legs by running backwards. Monday night Zach joined me for a running group that meets on the Loveland Bike Trail led by one of our TNT mentors who is also a personal trainer. It was cool to do that w/ Zach and get to share a little of my experience with him. I'll admit he kicked my butt though. We ran 1.5 miles on the trail and then did curcuit training/agility/strength drills. My new orthodics came in this week - whew, what a difference! This was all a lesson on the parts working together towards a common goal and winning. Saturday is 10 miles - double digits - and we'll be timed. No fear. Did you notice the countdown on the right is now in double digits, not triple? No fear.

All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. They will tell you no, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them yes. - Nike

Mind Over Matter

"If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." Emil Zatopek

Our long run took us to 9 miles today and it was another hot and humid fall day. Those 3 words are not supposed to be used together - hot, humid, fall. I am soooooo wishing for consistent fall Saturdays. And...in about a month and a half, I will sooooo be wishing it wasn't winter. I feel like we are getting cheated out of fall right now.

I mentally defeated myself today. I started out mentally defeating myself before I even got out of bed. The dark mornings are making it tough to get up on Saturdays and coupled with the knee and ankle problems I've had since last Saturday, 9 miles had me freaked out today - and 9 isn't even half of 26. I went into the physical therapist this week and had my feet casted for new orthodics but they won't be in for another week. I'm hoping this will help do the trick though. I'm choosing to ignore what role the age factor plays in all this. Left ankle, right knee. One is compensating for the other. And, I really need the right brain to start overcompensating for the left. The mental challenge has begun. Comments welcome.

In Memory

You may recall from my fundraising letter that my dad's youngest brother (Ronnie Wilson) died of Leukemia at the age of 16 and was buried on his 17th birthday. A letter came in the mail today from one of my mom's best friends, Desda Grider, who was also good friends with Ronnie. She shared with me the following:

Debra,
This remembrance is written in memory of a dear friend who died as a result of Leukemia. His name was Ronnie Wilson, a good looking 16 year old young man with big brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

Ronnie was in my class at Russell County High School. We were jolly juniors and looking forward to our senior year and being seniors. We rode the same school bus. That was some of my best memories of my teenage years. We lived out in the country so we were on the school bus for over an hour. Ronnie would always run to get on the bus early so he could save me a seat. We were all laughing and singing and enjoying life. He had a great personality and had overcome many childhood misfortunes. His parents had died when he was very young and he had to live with older relatives.

One day he told me, "I am really sick but no one believes me", but when I looked into his sad brown eyes and realized how pale he was, I knew he was sick. The nose bleeds became more frequent and he lost a lot of weight. He was taken to Somerset (KY) hospital where he was diagnosed with Leukemia.

Ronnie had 2 older brothers, Gene and Lowell, who lived in Cincinnati. They had left Russell County as young boys to have a better life and to make a living. But they never forgot about their younger brother. Everyone admired those brothers because they came home and got Ronnie and took him back to Cincinnati and took care of him until he lost his battle with Leukemia. Who would not like to have them for brothers???

The last time I saw Ronnie he hugged me and told me how much he appreciated me just being his friend and thanked me for always being nice to him. He was a great young man and I will never forget him.

So, Debra, I am thankful that you are helping to find a cure and better treatment for Leukemia. And you know what....Ronnie may be looking down from heaven and saying "that pretty girl running is my niece". SO YOU GO GIRL...RUN...RUN...RUN. - Desda

This one's for you Uncle Ronnie. Save me a seat - I'll see you up there one day and tell you all about this! BTW - your brother turned out to be an awesome dad and I couldn't be more blessed.