At last...

...I wasn't last. Yesterday we had our last double-digit (10) run before our marathon and I wasn't the last one to make it back. Actually, I was 4th from last! My niece also reminded me just how good that really is since I am the "oldest" of the group. She's definitely related to me - she just says whatever she thinks.

I always spend some part of my long runs imagining the feeling of crossing the finish line. Sometimes I have to take my thoughts there when I'm tired and don't feel like going on. I can only imagine the adrenaline that must run through a person's body to accomplish such a feat. I'm scared and excited but with less than 2 weeks to go, I'm starting to feel more scared. I still have to figure out what my mantra is going to be when I hit the infamous wall - which I hear is around mile 21 for most people. I just pray it's not at like mile 11 for me. More than anything I'm just grateful. I'm grateful for the support people have given, grateful that physically and mentally I am able to do this, and grateful for what I have learned about myself.

The first time we had a 10 mile run was on October 13th = 2:23. December 29 = 1:54. I was determined to finish in under 2 hours on Saturday - Zach had a basketball tournament game at 9am which I wanted to try to make before it was over. When I told one of my coaches this, he told me I'd never finish 10 miles in under 2 hours. Never tell me never.

"Few of us know what we are capable of doing... we have never pushed ourselves hard enough to find out." Alfred A. Montapert

Getting it right

Yesterday was a taper run - 12 miles, 2:17. We'll taper for the next 2 Saturdays as we get closer to the marathon. Next week will be my last double digit run before 1.13.08.

Finding inspiration throughout this journey has come from various places. I was out with some friends last night who, after a few martinis or two, were getting sentimental and telling me what an inspiration I had been for them during my training. These 2 friends don't realize what an inspiration they have been for me. They've helped me through a number of fundraising events (we collectively raised over $1500 working various events) and they have their own trials and tribulations that make me realize that shin splints and blisters are actually reminders of how blessed I am to be able to do what I am doing. My friend Kim has been out of work for a few months and as a single mom of 2 boys, the holidays are tough but she laughs and smiles more than a person with a million dollars. Cathy just recently found out that her breast cancer is back. She is traveling w/ me to Orlando and when we return she'll be facing surgery and 6 months of chemo. I'll cross that finish line in memory of my uncle and in honor of Cathy. This is where I get my inspiration.

Some days I find I run because I have to or I won't survive 26.2. Those are the days that it takes all I have to put one foot in front of the other and overcome the elements of my nature. Some days I find I run because I want to - because I find for a few miles or hours that my life is my own and I am who I want to be and don't have to worry about who I am to everyone else. Sometimes I'm running away, running to escape, and hoping life won't find me. But you can't really run away - it will still be there in the end and you realize that each day is simply an event, not a means to an end in this journey we call life. It's just a matter of figuring out how to get it right and do it again tomorrow.

Rounding third...and heading for home

It's the home stretch...less than 30 days to go and we've completed our longest training run (attempted to, anyhow). Saturday was not ideal but we did the best we could w/ the weather we were given and I'm checking it off my list. Done. Completed. C'est la vie. :-)

We started shortly after 6am and our coaches pulled us off the course a little after 9am because of the snow and winds. At that point I had completed 14 miles. I went home, got dry clothes and then went to the gym to do the rest. I was able to pull another 5 miles out of myself. I know...14+5=19. It was all I could do. After stopping and trying to start again after lactic acid was setting in and muscles had tightened, the situation was not optimal. I'm giving myself credit for shoveling the drive yesterday after running 19 miles and counting that as my mile 20. I'm looking forward to a Saturday when the longest journey on foot I take is to the end of the driveway to get the newspaper. 19 miles: 4:16.

Let it snow...

Tomorrow marks the longest run in our training program - the big 20. It has been 18 weeks since we started. August 11, the date of our first group run (a whopping 4 miles), brought a high of 91 degrees. I remember running from Weller Park to the McDonalds on the corner of Weller and Montgomery and being so happy that this was our 2 mile mark and we got to turn around and go back. Tomorrow...we start at 6am and are forecasted to be at 19 degrees with a "wintery mix" thrown in. Brrrr. I am in a state of mind mixed with mild panic and excitement. The biggest fight tomorrow won't be the snow, ice, or physical endurance - it will be the mental. It will be about overcoming myself. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

12916

That's my official race number for the Disney Marathon. Info came in the mail yesterday that included this and the race program. That was kinda exciting. I also went and bought a new pair of running shoes. That was kinda exciting too - this is the first time I've actually wore out a pair of running shoes. Usually I've just purchased them for the sake of wanting a new pair, not necessarily needing a new pair. I also decided that I'm going to sign up for the Flying Pig Half Marathon and possibly try to do the Columbus in October 2008. Stacey has committed (yes, you have) to do these as well. :) Of course, the only time we'll likely be together during these events is in the car on the way there and the way home. Perhaps I should have waited until I actually finished a marathon before I committed to another, but I think it will kinda be like childbirth - it's hell getting through it, but when it's over and the pain has subsided, you'd likely do it all over again. I'm just enjoying the journey.

This weekend was a low mileage weekend, so we only did 10 in preparation for 20 next weekend. I, on the other hand, only did 8. Things were just off yesterday. I started out sucking air big time - perhaps I took off too fast - and then I got too hot and dropped a layer at the first water stop, then got cold, and my legs were tight and sore. My coach, Linda, was running w/ me and at about mile 7 she took a hard fall and we just threw up our hands and walked/ran the rest of it to her car, which was at mile 8. Of course, it didn't take much persuasion to get me in the car and drive back to the Boathouse. :)

The Way I See It...

The Way I See It #259
"People say, oh I could never do that! But when you meet cancer patients you understand the bravery and spirit those people show each and every day. Their struggles motivate and inspire you to test the limits of your endurance and to cross that finish line. You'll be surprised at what you can do". John Kellenyi, eight-time marathoner and leading fundraiser with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team in Training

That showed up on one of my Starbucks' cups recently. It's sometimes hard to believe that this journey to 26.2 has been 5 months in the making. Time is flying by. I'll admit I'm a little scared about what life will look like when it's over. I remember what life looked like just before I started. I was in a place of transition and uncertainty. We were thrown a little when the doctor's discovered a mass on my mom's lungs back in July, which God seems to have healed completely according to a recent cat scan. I had moments back then when I thought I wouldn't do this, for fear of not knowing where things might go (oh ye of little faith...I know). 2007 has brought many beautiful, fun, and miraculous moments, mixed with some challenges, disappointments, and losses. Life is like that. No one promises us that it will be easy - just that we don't have to do it alone. This journey has become such an integrated part of my life. There is not a day that goes by where I don't make some decision or choice that is dictated by my training. I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing about it and you'd think I'd be trained to be a Boston qualifier by the way I talk...but trust me, I'm far from it. I'm here for distance not time. :) I have a circle of friends that have been incredible with the time and effort that have put into helping me make this dream become a soon-to-be reality. When I'm out there running and mentally breaking down, I'm reminded as to why I'm doing this - for the survivors, the families who've lost, my uncle who was taken from here way too soon, and I remember the other heroes in my life who've overcome obstacles, continue to encounter them, and keep on going.

Going all the way

18 miles: 3:42. Not bad, I think I have the potential to hang w/ Katie Holmes in a marathon if I keep this up. It was a coooold day. Temperature-wise it probably wasn't any colder than last Saturday (the almanac doesn't say it was) but there was a wind factor that made it certainly feel colder. When we started it was about 25 degrees I think and it never got above 35 before I finished. Just about everything from the waist down is feeling pain today. I don't think any of it is a-typical, just typical for running long distance. At this rate though I need to buy more ice packs - 2 isn't getting the job done in a timely manner. And, I refuse to emerge myself in a tub full of ice cold water as is suggested by our coaches. I think I'd have to be held to gun point before I get that desperate. I ran most of it alone yesterday - I started out w/ Jill and Angela but they were only doing 9 because they are training for the 1/2, so our routes parted around mile 3 or so. Perhaps I should have thought about the 1/2? No, I'd feel like I was cheating myself and everyone that is sponsoring me. I mean, go for the gusto. One full marathon in a lifetime at least. As I was running yesterday, and my mind is always veering off to different places during those 3+ hours, I wondered who was higher at the time - me, when I signed up to do this back in July or Blondie, when she wrote the song Rapture? I don't do drugs, can't speak for Blondie. But that song - it was all the rage back when and I heard it out last weekend and for entertainment sake had to add it to my playlist. I called home yesterday (new topic), as I typically do after my Saturday runs because my mom has read one too many stories about people dying from marathons, and my mom wanted to know if I finished. Finished? Of course, is there an option? She's alluded to the fact before that I don't have to finish the whole thing if I don't want to. Not finish? What? Like run to mile marker 19 and say, OK, I think I'm done now - taxi! No disrespect to my mom - she just worries...like a mom - but there's no stopping now or on Jan 13th (unless I'm carted off to a medic tent, which isn't going to happen). I'm going all the way.

Believe

I think I'm gonna call myself a runner. Today was a good run day - nothing can take that away from you either. While it was a taper weekend and we only did 8, I basically ran all 8 with only 2 short walk breaks on a couple hills up to Eden Park. I set a goal of 1:30 and I met it. I knew I had come a long way when the group that is usually in their cars and half way home by the time I finish were just a few minutes ahead of me. It was 29 degrees when we started at 7:30am. It was so cold I had frost growing on my top and I dared not to try and lick my chapped lips for the fear that my tongue might stick to them. As I was coming down Eggelston to Pete Rose Way, I remembered the last time we ran that route, it was our 10-miler several Saturdays ago and I was begging God to give me just enough to get back to the Boathouse. Today I hit that spot and I looked up and said thank you for believing in me and taking me so very far.

Was That My Life? Jo Dee Messina
I don't wanna be the one who's old before their time
And lose the wonder that I felt as a child.
I can't run this race believing I might lose
There's still so much to see, so much left to do.
Yes I'll fall before I fly
But no one can say I never tried.
Oh we just get one ride around the sun
In this dream of time.
It goes so fast
And one day we look back
And we ask...was that my life?

Sweet Sixteen

3:28 including 6 water stops, 3 Shot Bloks, 4 Motrin, 0 bathroom breaks, and 4:1 intervals. Nothing but sunshine and positive thoughts. Something had to change. 14 was &^!! and I was determined 16 wasn't going to get the best of me. Life's kinda like that - keep putting the same thing into it, you'll keep getting the same thing back. If you are not willing to make changes, you really can't complain about what life is giving you. Granted, I'm not exempt from complaining and you'll hear me do it again I'm sure but you won't ever see me settle for what the landscape looks like today if I know I don't want to see it again tomorrow and the next day, and so on. Change is hard and it doesn't happen overnight. I wasn't anywhere close to calling myself a runner back in the summer when I signed up for this and after 3+ hard but rewarding months, I'm getting close to calling myself one.

"I know that the only person I will ever have to outrun is the person I used to be. More than that, I have learned just how far I was from who I wanted to be. And from the day of that realization, every step has taken me closer to the person I am trying to become."
John "The Penguin" Bingham.

Simple, profound, true.

Tomorrow marks the official 60 day mark until my marathon. 60 days... Tonight I was running on the treadmill - for hopes that giving myself a break from the hard pavement would help me this week - and as I was getting bored I started imagining myself crossing the finish line. What I will do, what I will say, who I will see. And, then I thought - oh my gosh - what if my family and friends don't see me cross the finish line? What if they miss me or what if there is someone like Katie Holmes that steals my spotlight? Granted, this is not the NY City Marathon and celebraties will not be likely but I get bored on a treadmill and my mind wonders. Oh, and I just love it (not) when someone asks me if I heard Katie Holmes just did the NY City Marathon in 5:30. Let's do a reality check here people - personal trainer, housekeeper, yard guy, and Tom Cruise waiting at the finish line. Girlfriend should have done better than a mere 12.69 mile with those resources. Moving on...

I completed 10 of our 12 mile run this past Saturday. My left knee - which oddly enough it is always my right knee that bothers me - started having shooting pain in the back and I cut the route short and walked it in w/ another teammember. As we were walking in I was telling him how I just get so frustrated by the constant pain and how I'm working hard and showing up for everything - and, he's like...Debra, you just need to have fun. Simple, profound, true. It's not like I'm going to set any records (other than my own) and I really think I've trained well enough to not ride the bus to the finish line. I just need to relax. I just need to chill. I just need to enjoy the scenery. I just need to be proud of what I'm accomplishing and say to $#!! with the rest of it.

Small Favors. Big Blessings.

OK, so my last post was pretty much a pitty party and as they say, those parties are generally low in attendance. So, this post is an effort to look past the aches and pains of my personal situation and be thankful for the small favors, which sometimes bring big, and unexpected, blessings. Here's my list:

• I'm thankful for my own personal running group that formed during my run on Saturday. One of my coaches stuck w/ me the entire 14 miles, my friend Stacey joined me for the last 1/2, and a random TNT alum, Kelsey, who was out for her Saturday morning run turned around and joined us for the last 3 or 4. It was kinda like the scene from Forrest Gump where he takes off running across the country and people just keep joining the group. Run Forrest! Run! Life really is like a box of chocolates...you just never know what you are gonna get.
• I'm thankful for Zach and the cozy running outfit he got me for my birthday because I will be so much warmer this weekend.
• I'm thankful for the adorable pink gloves and hat that Stacey got me, because not only will I be warmer - I will be stylin (and, I promise I won't wipe my runny nose on them).
• I'm thankful that my sister bought me an iPod for Christmas 2 years ago, although at the time I really wanted to take it back and get a digital camera. My iPod has become one of my best running partners.
• I'm thankful that I am able to run and that my issues of waking up and going out into the cold have nothing to do w/ chemo or a hospital visit. I'm thankful that my son is healthy and that I'm not the parent that has to sit by their child's bedside wondering if this breath will be his last.

In everything...give thanks.

Tough Reminders

14. They all seem long at this point. What's another 1, 2, 3, etc. miles. That's how I feel today. There won't be any encouraging quotes or funny quips. The truth of the matter is, I'm hurting. And, I can't honestly remember the last time I didn't. I know the minute I try to get up from my chair after writing this, I'll cringe from something in my hip, knee, foot, shin - basically any lower extremity. There's a constant reminder in my body somewhere always screaming at me. I wake up throughout the night and have to strategize how to turn over or remind myself not to stretch out something wrong or it might snap. I want so badly to succeed at this and I've worked really hard to try to follow the rules, stick w/ the program, invest in the right things, and show up wherever I'm suppose to be. But, there was never any promise made to me that this would be easy or pain-free either. And, I'm not a mentally tough person. Contrary to what some may believe...it's not how I'm wired. It's sometimes who I have to be though. If I've ever had a moment of wanting to give up over the last 12 weeks, it was this weekend.

Strength in Numbers

14. 39. It seems like every double-digit I encounter lately scares me. Perhaps this is a personal issue I should have come to terms with before I signed up to do a marathon. 39 wasn't so bad, so I'm sure 14 will be just fine. It was an interesting day yesterday - my number 39. I had 6 voice mail messages that included personal renditions of "happy birthday". I think people really must love me or...maybe they don't? :-)

I didn't do 2 of my short runs this week - trying to heal shin splints before tomorrow. I did do some crosstraining though, nothing that included a knife, fork, or cake however. My friend Stacey is joining me for half of my 14 mile run tomorrow. I'm so excited! She keeps telling me that she's not in long-run/marathon condition and I keep reminding her that I'm not the speed racer that she is either. She has quite the (good) reputation amongst the local running circle. 7-8 miles at my pace will probably be like a jog around the block for her.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face... The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it... You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Numbers...are just numbers.

Faith

"Faith isn't faith until it's all your holding onto." - Unknown

Today I officially reached my fundraising goal! Actually I exceeded it believe it or not. There is such relief in being able to say that and now being able to focus solely on training. I am truly humbled by how people have responded, and all of you are in essence taking this journey with me. $3600 is a big number and it seemed bigger than I ever thought I could achieve but once again God proved to me that if I'd just let go, He'd take care of it. And, He did.

I believe doing this marathon is part of His plan - not sure where all it will take me - but I believe I'm doing the right thing for my life at this moment. I often wonder if this started w/ me running away from something or towards something. I think it's a little of both and the list is long on both sides.

"Settle with the past. Engage in the present. Believe in the future. Life is just a voyage that is always homeward bound." - from the movie, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

26.2 is a big number but not bigger than both of us.

Kick'n it Newport Style

There's just something about running on the streets of Newport in the dark that will cause you to kick up your pace a bit. We didn't do the route to Eden Park/Observatory today. Woo hoo! We took a route through downtown, over the Clay Bailey Bridge, and over to Newport and back. I don't panic on bridges typically, but something about running over one next to a moving train just creates a little uneasiness in a gal.

10 miles in 2:03, which included 3 water stops and 1 unsuccessful bathroom stop at the Shell station on 4th street in Newport (I do not really believe the bathroom was "closed" either!), followed by 1 successful bathroom stop courtesy of the Goodyear Tire Store in Newport. At about mile 5 my newest add to my playlist came on: Return of the Mack. If that song doesn't make you wanna move your hips...brother, you need a pulse check. It will put some groove in your step.

I'm one of those people that say "good morning" to every person I run past. What is up w/ some people around here? Runners have unspoken code that it's just something you do - it's like a brotherhood, like bikers. But the general public out walking to work or trying to find their car from the night before, generally don't expect people to say anything to them. I am here to prove this wrong. Morning!

Color

Today is a perfect fall day. It's just beautiful outside. Tomorrow is suppose to be pretty much the same - slightly chillier but that's OK. We are scheduled for a 10 mile run tomorrow from the boathouse (insert rolling eyes here). Ugh. However, I am mentally going to remove myself from that negative place. Our long runs now take us up 2 miles every other weekend. Next weekend it's 14 (i.e. last weekend: 12, this weekend: 10, next weekend: 14). I'm probably the only one that needed that spelled out for them. No, I'm pretty sure of it. I'm so not a number person. Someone asked me today how far our run is tomorrow and I responded "only 10 miles" in complete innocence (i.e. lacking my usual sarcasim). He just looked at me and said "a few weeks ago would you had ever thought you'd be saying "only 10"?" Nope. I'm not sure when "only" so easily creeped into my vocabulary and started preceeding the words "10 miles".

I'm a little bummed today because my running buddy, Kristin, called to tell me that she's pulling out of the Disney Marathon and is going to defer to the Flying Pig in May. She acquired a foot injury last weekend, and with school and fundraising life's a little crazy. No doubt girlfriend! But I'm blue. You'll be missed.

Cathy and I are signed up to work the Bengals vs Steelers game on Sunday. As if there wasn't enough abuse going on in my life right now, I've voluntarily elected to take on more. We worked the concession booth for the first time last Sunday and we unanimously agree that the footlong portable is better - footlong and soda, $6 and $4, simple. All I have to say to the concession guests are: We are v-o-l-u-n-t-e-e-r-s! I don't know where they sell Skyline at the stadium, where the nearest ATM is, or how long the proshop is going to be open. AND, I really don't care how pissed you are at the Bengals and that you think the pizza is overpriced, that the pretzels should come w/ cheese, or you are mad that you stood there in line w/ the menu right in front you and just now realized that we don't sell nachos at this stand. I am not the person to take that frustration out on. I might be sore from head to toe on most Sundays but this chick will jump over this counter and out run you in a heartbeat (especially if you are on your 16th beer and/or wearing 5 inch heels). It's such a colorful crowd.

Hold on Tight

"Persistence Persistence Persistence. With the wind kissing my face and the ground supplying the grace, there is very little to impede the need. The need to succeed. Standing alone I discovered the reason for heart. For there stood the enemy. Wishing to stop me before I start. They will hold your ankles. Pull you down by the wrists. They will kick, bite, and push. They will-will resist. With little life left to see. Steady came my plea. For as long as I am me. I will-will persist."

I can't find who wrote that, but I like it. I successfully completed 12 miles on Saturday and am proud to say that I finished 12 miles in less time than it took me to do 10 the week before. 2:20. I like those numbers. Do I have the potential of keeping that pace at 26.2? Who knows, but I will finish and it won't be on a bus. Note, if you don't meet certain pace times at certain points during the Disney marathon they have a bus waiting to "escort" you to the finish line. I don't want to ride the bus! And, I bet it is one of those short buses too. Anyhow, I ran the 12 miles alone on Saturday. It was just me and my iPod. BTW - we are not suppose to use iPods and it was the first time I did a long run with one and for me, music is my refuge. My playlist started with Barry Manilow's "Daybreak" when the sun was coming up as I turned onto Montgomery Rd. from Weller and ended with Josh Turner's "Me and God" while I ran my 1/2 mile into Weller Park. As I was running, I gave some serious thought to how I was out there alone that day and how I've adjusted my life to this aspect pretty steadily over the years. I didn't say "comfortably" though. I think it's just a survival mode I've gotten into. I heard ELO's song "Hold on Tight (to your dreams)" last week and added it to my playlist. It came on about 1/2 way into my run on Saturday - it's one of my new favorites. Barry Manilow, Josh Turner, and ELO - is there any logic to it? I don't think so.

Hold on tight to your dream

Hold on tight to your dream

When you see your ship go sailing

When you feel your heart is breaking

Hold on tight to your dream.

XII

Twelve. 12. 10+2. Yep, that's the plan for 7am tomorrow morning. I felt better after Monday and as the week progressed. Here's what it looked like:

Saturday - 10 miles
Sunday - weights and cardio (w/ an over-zealous trainer - $#!@)
Monday - off (should have ran 30 min. but I hadn't re-couped from the previous 2 days)
Tuesday - weights and cardio
Wednesday - 4 mile group run from Newport on the Levee
Thursday - 2.2 mile run
Friday - off (scheduled)

Sunday is another Bengals game. I'm only $467 away from my fundraising goal! And, I'm over saying "who dey?". It's more like "who can't?". Are we ready for baseball? Let's face it - our choices are not good.

Down the road I go...

Partial reality is, it's taken me this long since Saturday's 10 mile run to shuffle across the floor to my laptop to post something new on my blog. OK, I said partial reality - but reality is, I'm still shuffling. If I never see Eden Park Drive again in this lifetime, I will not die feeling cheated one bit. The "no fear" motto left my soul at about 9 miles. I simply looked up and said, "God, if I'm going to finish this today, I need you to give me something, anything". He did. I finished, tears and all, but I finished. I was basically disappointed in my time and how I felt at only 10 miles. 10 is still not half of 26. But, it's actually the longest distance I've done, so there is an achievement! I am my own worst enemy. My mind got the best of me on Saturday while my legs and feet were feeling the results of hills, pounding, and chilly weather. 143 minutes. 41 degrees. Not great numbers but I have to remind myself that (1) no hills at Disney, (2) I still have 89 days to get stronger - mentally and physically, and (3) I'm not alone.

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns

No Fear

This journey has truly taken me to places I never thought possible for me, last night was no exception. First, the weather was a little chillier yesterday - YEAH! So, I wore running tights when I ran. Repeat...I wore tights out in public. I haven't done that since like 1983 or something. Our group did its mid-week run from Blue Ash last night and we ran out to a neighborhood off Kenwood Rd. called "Kenview Hills". Yep, there it is - my favorite 4 letter word. Anyhow, we did hill repeats with a twist. We ran them w/ our hands behind our backs and then we ran them backwards. The idea was to teach us the value of using our arms when we run and to strengthen different muscles in our legs by running backwards. Monday night Zach joined me for a running group that meets on the Loveland Bike Trail led by one of our TNT mentors who is also a personal trainer. It was cool to do that w/ Zach and get to share a little of my experience with him. I'll admit he kicked my butt though. We ran 1.5 miles on the trail and then did curcuit training/agility/strength drills. My new orthodics came in this week - whew, what a difference! This was all a lesson on the parts working together towards a common goal and winning. Saturday is 10 miles - double digits - and we'll be timed. No fear. Did you notice the countdown on the right is now in double digits, not triple? No fear.

All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. They will tell you no, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them yes. - Nike

Mind Over Matter

"If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon." Emil Zatopek

Our long run took us to 9 miles today and it was another hot and humid fall day. Those 3 words are not supposed to be used together - hot, humid, fall. I am soooooo wishing for consistent fall Saturdays. And...in about a month and a half, I will sooooo be wishing it wasn't winter. I feel like we are getting cheated out of fall right now.

I mentally defeated myself today. I started out mentally defeating myself before I even got out of bed. The dark mornings are making it tough to get up on Saturdays and coupled with the knee and ankle problems I've had since last Saturday, 9 miles had me freaked out today - and 9 isn't even half of 26. I went into the physical therapist this week and had my feet casted for new orthodics but they won't be in for another week. I'm hoping this will help do the trick though. I'm choosing to ignore what role the age factor plays in all this. Left ankle, right knee. One is compensating for the other. And, I really need the right brain to start overcompensating for the left. The mental challenge has begun. Comments welcome.

In Memory

You may recall from my fundraising letter that my dad's youngest brother (Ronnie Wilson) died of Leukemia at the age of 16 and was buried on his 17th birthday. A letter came in the mail today from one of my mom's best friends, Desda Grider, who was also good friends with Ronnie. She shared with me the following:

Debra,
This remembrance is written in memory of a dear friend who died as a result of Leukemia. His name was Ronnie Wilson, a good looking 16 year old young man with big brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

Ronnie was in my class at Russell County High School. We were jolly juniors and looking forward to our senior year and being seniors. We rode the same school bus. That was some of my best memories of my teenage years. We lived out in the country so we were on the school bus for over an hour. Ronnie would always run to get on the bus early so he could save me a seat. We were all laughing and singing and enjoying life. He had a great personality and had overcome many childhood misfortunes. His parents had died when he was very young and he had to live with older relatives.

One day he told me, "I am really sick but no one believes me", but when I looked into his sad brown eyes and realized how pale he was, I knew he was sick. The nose bleeds became more frequent and he lost a lot of weight. He was taken to Somerset (KY) hospital where he was diagnosed with Leukemia.

Ronnie had 2 older brothers, Gene and Lowell, who lived in Cincinnati. They had left Russell County as young boys to have a better life and to make a living. But they never forgot about their younger brother. Everyone admired those brothers because they came home and got Ronnie and took him back to Cincinnati and took care of him until he lost his battle with Leukemia. Who would not like to have them for brothers???

The last time I saw Ronnie he hugged me and told me how much he appreciated me just being his friend and thanked me for always being nice to him. He was a great young man and I will never forget him.

So, Debra, I am thankful that you are helping to find a cure and better treatment for Leukemia. And you know what....Ronnie may be looking down from heaven and saying "that pretty girl running is my niece". SO YOU GO GIRL...RUN...RUN...RUN. - Desda

This one's for you Uncle Ronnie. Save me a seat - I'll see you up there one day and tell you all about this! BTW - your brother turned out to be an awesome dad and I couldn't be more blessed.

Go Aves!

Last week was 2 nights of tryouts for the Sycamore Select Basketball teams and today we learned that Zach made the 6th grade team! Way to go Z-man! While he's played select basketball for about 3 years, this will be the first time he'll be playing with kids he goes to school with. He's grown up a lot over the last few months - he looks older and well, acts older. I stopped today in the middle of a conversation he and I were having and just took a deep breath. He's growing up. This summer he got contacts, braces, and a cell phone. He's been very responsible with all 3. :) Tuesday he turns 12. Happy Birthday Z.

RPG

It was 8 mile Saturday and oh lucky us - it was a Saturday that our schedule had us starting at the Boathouse. While our route could have taken a multitude of options, it was yet another Saturday for a visit up to Eden Park and then on to Victory Pkwy, McMillan, Woodburn and Madison. I won't really complain because the weather was perfect and the fall group had a 20 mile run. Today I experimented with Shot Bloks - a gummy bear consistency energy chew. 3 bloks have 24g of carbs. The idea is to start experimenting with the many options of these things that are available - Goos, Sport Beans, Clif Shots, etc. - and figure out which work best with your digestive system before you get too up in your miles. So far Bloks are on the OK list. New 4-letter word: Down. My running partner Kristin and I have labeled this a "good" 4-letter word. "Hill" is on the other list of 4-letter words. We also applied a mind over matter technique today from Jeff Galloway's Marathon book. 3 words: Relax, Power, Glide (RPG). Three words to be repeated to shut the left brain down. It's called "positive brainwashing". Relax - No pressure, I'm here to have fun. Power - I will kick this hill, it will not kick me. Glide - keep it smooth.

This week I logged 13 miles - should have been 15 but I just couldn't get myself out of bed on Thursday morning. Having trouble with my left arch - had my shoes and orthodics checked and we tried a different lacing technique on the left shoe. Hopefully that does the trick or it's off to the foot doctor. Aside from that - feeling good.

Monday night football this week! Footlong anyone? :-)

I get by with a little help from my friends...

I thought I'd continue with the music theme that preceded this post... :)

Humble. That is truly the best way to put it for me right now. I am truly humbled by the response of my family and friends that are helping me along this journey. It takes a village to do a marathon (I'm sure Hillary won't mind that I'm borrowing her analogy for this purpose). I've been humbled by the donations people have made on my behalf. I reached the 50% mark this week, and in only 4 weeks that is truly awesome from my perspective. I've been humbled by my friends who've rolled up their sleeves and taken one for the team (all of this coming from ms. independent that hates to ask anyone for anything). We've worked 2 festivals and 2 Bengal games thus far and raised a little over $1000 with those efforts. Many thanks to Kim and Cathy for working the games and BrewHaHa and Oktoberfest with me - we earn our dollars that's for sure! Thanks to Mark and Jim for helping me with Oktoberfest last weekend as well. Aside from the fact that we were located in polka $@!!, which was happily offset by the fact that the Cincinnati Wolfhound Rugby team was next door to us, we had fun and our booth raised $341 in one day. Woo Hoo! A big thank you to Stacey for helping with Samantha through all these events - picking her up, taking her back home, feeding her and loving her. It would be impossible to do this without you guys.

Oh, I must report on one more song I've added to my playlist: "Daybreak" Barry Manilow. He was on the Today show on Stacey's birthday recently, because his "best ever" (or whatever) CD came out the day after so he and/or his name was popping up everywhere that day - even on the ESPN Mike and Mike show. That connection I'll never figure out. Anyhow, we were into his music all day - I swear I walked the halls at work humming "Daybreak" all day - so I felt it was only fitting to add it to my Playlist as the first song for my 6:30am morning runs. I mean...he does write the songs.

Defending my Playlist

Most people would say that music helps you set your pace, motivate you, etc.; however, I think it's also helpful for distracting you from the pain and hills 3 minutes at a time. So...I recently updated my "run" playlist and here are a few and the reason I smile with each one:

Oh What a Night (December 1963) - Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons
I had this song on my playlist when I ran my very first race, March 12, 2000 - Bob Huggin's March Madness 5k. And my "playlist" was a cassette on my Walkman. Ha ha! It's just a happy song that's all.
No One Like You (Scorpions)
High School and cruising in Dan's 1968 Mustang, big hair, Jordache jeans, and Forenza sweaters. Rock on!
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison)
Aside from the fact that I have brown eyes, this song is played during my favorite scene from the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" - romance at it's finest.
I Ran (Flock of Seagulls)
Need I explain, really?
We are Family (Sister Sledge)
Performing this song with Tonya at our cousin Kim's 40th birthday party - afros, disco wear, and platform boots. A little rum and coke pre-performance will do wonders for stage fright.
Let my Love Open the Door (Peter Townshend)
"When people keep repeating, that you'll never fall in love, when everybody keeps retreating, but you can't seem to get enough, let my love open the door..." Don't give up on me people - it's out there!
I Had the Time of My Life (Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes)
This song was playing when an old college boyfriend was leaving Liberty to attend school in Florida. He was wonderfully funny, a devoted Marine, with a spirit about him that people were just drawn to but he went away to seminary and growing up a PK, I didn't see this in the cards for me. Great college memories though. If you can get through the first 15 seconds of this song, it's fun.
Aint Nobody (Chaka Khan)
Fun nights out dancing with the girls. I always scream when this song comes on and drag them out to the dance floor.
I Go Back (Kenny Chesney)
"And I go back to watchin summer fade to fall, growin up too fast and I do recall, wishin time would stop right in its tracks, everytime I hear that song, I go back..."

Am I embarrassed by my playlist? Ask me at the finish line.

What I've learned (so far)

Granted, I'm not an expert or a veteran by any stretch of the imagination - but here are a few things I've learned over the last 40 days:

• I have a new found respect for cross walks and the people who try to use them.
• Good running accessories are essential and a wise investment - and "accessories" go well beyond shoes.
• There are runners...and then there are runners. I'm still in the first group.
• It's addictive and better than alcohol when you've had a bad day.
• It requires patience, perseverance, and determination. Much like fundraising.
• You'll have good days and bad days but it's never about your hair.
• It takes friends to do this. Friends who don't mind working for free and friends who don't mind babysitting your dog.
• People (I actually know) are going to show up to watch me finish.
• My parents are really excited for me and actually believe I can do this.
• My sister isn't beyond driving 3mph down the road just to cheer me on during the end of a long run. She may have forgot water but she still cares.
• People really don't read my blog. :)

Lion in the House

Today was another 6 mile Saturday - this week we met at the Boathouse downtown and ran up to Eden Park and back. "Hill" is my new 4-letter word. Ugh. I paced with another girl who has been training with the fall group (I'm a "winter") for her marathon that is next month. We did 4:1 intervals up to the park and then ran the whole way back. The view was awesome at the top - that was a gift after those hills. I had a discouraging week for a variety of reasons but today brought it all back around for me. Peace.

Below is a post that was sent to all of us in Team In Training regarding a documentary that was filmed at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, Lion in the House. It follows the lives of kids and their families who are battling blood cancers. I watched the first last night and it brought a whole new meaning to what we are doing. Please watch it and know that your donations are making a difference in the lives of these kids. These are some brave kids and strong families. Running a few miles a week is nothing compared to what they have endured. I know some of you will say "I don't like to watch stuff like that" but looking the other way doesn't change the reality all around us. It doesn't change the circumstances and challenges that parents every day are encountering as they hear "your child has cancer". And, it's not just children, there are adults everywhere. A man at our church with 2 small children just recently found out he has stage 4 leukemia. It's real. We don't have to look the other way.

Lion In The House
To learn more about the documentary and get updates on the families, go to: http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/lioninthehouse/02_index.htm

CET/PBS will re-broadcast the documentary "Lion In The House" at 10pm every Friday night in Sept.-- starting Sept. 7. The re-broadcast will divide the original 4-hour, full-length show into 1 hour segments with one each week. For those of you that are not familiar with Lion this was a documentary that was filmed at our own Children's starting back in 1997. It covers the lives of several children afflicted with blood cancers. One of the children, Justin Ashcraft was our first Hero. This documentary went to Sundance and is now up for an exceptional merit at the Emmy's. Get your Kleenex out.

A LION IN THE HOUSE follows the stories of five exceptional children and their families as they battle pediatric cancer. From the trauma of diagnosis to the physical toll of treatment, this series documents the stresses that can tear a family apart as well as the courage of children facing the possibility of death with honesty, dignity and humor. As the film compresses six years into one narrative, it puts viewers in the shoes of parents, physicians, nurses, siblings, grandparents and social workers who struggle to defeat an indiscriminate and predatory disease.

Now that was Monday night football!

Crazy! It was just crazy last night. Nothing but a sea of black and orange and let me say, all the football freaks came out of the woodwork last night (see photo below). Who dey! Do we just love our football or are we just so over the Reds at this point that we are just glad to say "TGIF" (thank goodness it's football)? I have to admit the game was pretty awesome, even if we were catching the drama from our humble little footlong stand. We did get to go out to the stands and see the last 3 minutes - the last 3 critical minutes too. Way to go defense!
I simply thought that $1100 in footlongs was insane, but we more than doubled that stat last night - $2500. My concession divas, Kim and Cathy, helped me and we were cranking out the dogs. AND...we passed a surprise visit from the health department. Now, I've got to raise $3600 people or I'm doing all this work for nothing - so we are not above showcasing our grilling and serving skills at your end of summer backyard barbeque if you need some help. :) Are you ready for some football?

Elements

I'm typically writing these things in my head as I run. And, they are so much better then too. Sorry. Today was 6 mile Saturday and it was like running in a rainforest - humid. Shin splints, glide, and timing. Those were the 3 elements impacting me the most today. Shin splints are every runner/walker's satan and practically unavoidable. Glide is every runner/walker's angel. Glide is an anti-blister chafing stick that looks like a deodorant stick. I discovered today that I have some areas that need attention from Glide before my next run. :) Then, there's "timing". You know how you hit one red light and then you know you are just doomed to hit every single one thereafter? Yep. That was me and hills today. I did 3:1 intervals (run 3 min, walk 1) and wouldn't you know it, just as my 1 min segment ended there was my hill...about every time. The hills are my friends. That's my new mantra.
"The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy...It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed." Jacqueline Gareau

The Tortis, the Hare and the Giant

I had a 5 mile run to do this weekend and my friend Stacey offered to run it with me. We were the Tortis and the Hare - while I realize that it probably doesn't need clarification...I'm not the Hare. Stacey's a sub-4 marathoner. She took up marathons on a whim a few years ago and she finishes in under 4 hours (she really almost finishes in 3 hours but she won't admit it unless you make her tell you her best times). She's my marathon hero! :) Running with someone is soooo much better. It pushes you to keep going, keeps your mind off things like "how much further?" "wow, that hill looks huge!", and "are we done yet?". Life's kinda like that - the journey is a lot better if you have someone to share it with.
Zach and I were watching the movie 'Facing the Giants' last night. A simple but often overlooked principle is at the foundation of that movie: trust God to do what you think is impossible. I can't tell you how many times I've missed that point in my life. Fortunately, He lets me mess up sometimes and then meets me on the other side with open arms. I can't say that all the answers to my prayers have been ones I wished for, but later down the road, I've seen where they were the ones I needed. I'll never stop asking "why" (I just have an insatiable need for answers) but hopefully I'll learn to simply trust God for the impossible or help me to just let go because He has something else for me. In summary, God opens doors that no one can shut, and sometimes He shuts doors that no one else can open (Revelations 3). I'm trusting God to help me finish what merely seems impossible to me right now - this marathon - and I'm trusting Him to help me let go of things that are behind me and were never intended for me in the first place.

Who Dey!

Yep, football season is upon us. Now, I like football about as much as the next (honest) girl. I can take it or leave it. Don't get me wrong, I was all about Friday night football games in high school but more from the sideline social benefit and after-game trips to Skyline. I attended my first Bengals' game in Paul Brown on Friday night. It was a pre-season game against the neighboring Colts and fortunately for us, it was all about the 3rd string on Friday night. However, my view of the game came strictly from the tv monitor on the west "canopy" (aka: nose bleed) level. My friend Kim and I were running the fabulous "Dogzilla" hot dog stand on behalf of Team in Training. We sold over $1100 in footlong hot dogs and sodas. A small percentage of that which will go directly to my TNT account - probably about $100...but, $1100+ in hot dogs! Holy smoke! $6 hot dogs mind you. Do you know how guilty I felt asking someone to pay $6 for a hot dog and $4 for a bottled coke? My friend Kim did a truly marvelous job grilling. The feeling in her left arm will be back soon I'm sure. We are becoming concession queens. Just what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Rhythm

Monday's are "30 minute easy" days, at least for now. So, I decided I really needed to focus on that because I've been getting frustrated with my pace and breathing. I think I've been starting out my runs focused on my 1:1 intervals and not finding a rhythm and pace that I can sustain for a solid 30 minutes. So, Monday was rise and shine at 6am, stretch, walk a good pace for 2 minutes to get my breathing steady and my muscles warmed up and run for a solid 30 at a pace that I could sustain. It worked. It probably also helped that it wasn't 95 degrees out either. So, I found my rhythm or at least the one that worked for me on Monday given all the variables - lack of sleep, weather, and needing to get done and home in time to get Zach up and us both out the door on time. I wish I could pay more attention to that in my life. Rhythm. A steady one that isn't always insisting on getting all the things checked off the list in my life or defined by everyone else's standards. I think this Marathon thing represents a lot of things for me. Some of those things continue to come to me during my runs - it's a lot of time spent living inside your head. I figure there are people out there that don't think I can do this. And, for those people, I'm actually thankful. Because it's been those people most of my life that have (unknowingly) helped me do things that I never thought I could. During college, I had the dean of my department tell me I'd never get the grades I needed to get the degree I wanted. I will never forget that conversation, that room, or that feeling. While he probably never thought about that conversation again after he walked out of the room, it has never left me. It was one of the most discouraging moments in my life, but it turned out to be one of the most rewarding. I got the degree I wanted and I've found ways to use it with purpose. In ways that I hope make a difference.

The Midnight Hour

The fundraiser gig turned out very well! Between tips and wages, we were able to earn $262. Oddly enough, that is the equivalent of $10/mile for the marathon. Not a bad deal. Cathy and Kim were awesome - thanks ladies! It was a long 2 nights but we ran one heck of a booth. Did you know they still make Hudy Delight in Cincinnati? I think people bought it for the sheer pleasure of remembering the good 'ol days - like the days in college when everything was a strategy in economics and...beer was beer. Yep, we rocked. Our favorite moment of the weekend - the cross dressing gentleman trying to pull off a denim skirt, matching flats, pantyhose, ankle bracelet, and ruby stud earrings. He was drinking Hudy.

Today was a 7:30am group injury prevention clinic and run. It was hot. Come November/December, it will be hard to remember running on days with heat advisories. I have to think that October/November will be awesome running weather. Heat indexes of 105 degrees - not my game.

When you speak too soon...

Yesterday I mentioned in my post that I hadn't missed a day of training since it started. That was yesterday. I missed my first day today. I set my alarm to get up at 6am and get my workout in but then I hit snooze a few times, then I got worried I wouldn't fit it in and be able to pick Zach up and get him to school on his first day, so I thought I would put it off till tonight. Well, all day today I was cold. Granted it was like 101 degrees outside, but I was going around wishing I had socks to put on my feet and was drinking hot tea at 3 in the afternoon (and it wasn't "tea time" or anything). Not a good sign. I'm praying I'm not coming down w/ something. I need to go take some aspirin. So...I missed my first day. I know it probably won't be my last, but I didn't want to break my rhythm. This weekend I, along w/ 2 fabulous friends that "volunteered" to help me, are working a festival from 4-midnight on Friday and Saturday and the money/tips we receive go towards my fundraising goal. I have our group run at 7am on Saturday. I can't be sick. I'm not sick, I'm not sick, I'm not sick...

The First of Many Miles

Welcome! I setup this blog to track my marathon journey and share my progress towards my goal. Perhaps no one but me will find it all that exciting but then this is all about me. :) I knew I had officially lost my mind when I picked the colors for this blog. If you know me at all - I'm not a pink person. Neutrals, black, eggplant (my fav!), anything but pastels, with the exception of yellow - it's just not right if you don't like yellow.

Anyhow, this blog is not about my color preferences, it's about my journey to finish a marathon. I have no idea what possessed me to do this. I think I found myself at another one of those transitional places in life and the flyer came in the mail on just right the day. The last time I was in transitional places, I found myself getting a tattoo and going skydiving. Of course a marathon would be the next likely option! I turn 40 next year. Hmmm. I haven't turned 39 yet actually, but I'm not looking forward to either birthday. There is always that question - am I where I thought I would be at (insert age)? My first thought is a resounding no. I have many things to be thankful for but I didn't think the picture would necessarily look like this. Life has taken many twists and turns - hence "the dance". I was reading a book on running last night and it was talking about how most beginning runners make the mistake of thinking in terms of miles instead of minutes. Meaning, "I need to get out there and run 2 miles today", instead of focusing on endurance which will build miles. I realize that I often look at my life like that - focusing on the years going by, and feeling like this or that should have happened by now, vs. focusing on the moments that have made up those years and the moments in the here and now. There have been a lot of great moments. And, the "not so great ones" have always taught me something.

I've been officially training for 2 weeks now - 6 days a week. I haven't missed a day of my training schedule - trust me, no one is more shocked than me! I have always thought that the feeling of finishing a marathon has got to be unlike anything else and I've envied people that had the courage to do one. So here I go...